The wonderings of Me, SpaggyB

Trapped outside the world you want

so close you can feel his breath on the wind

You can never reach him again,

never hold him in your arms as you long to



You try so hard to touch his skin,

to reach ahead and take him as you wish

He knows you're there

You know he doesn't want you as you want him



The pain is crippling, deep inside

clawing at your chest in a desperate attempt to show itself

Yet you hold it back and know that even if he saw

it wouldn't make a difference



You know you should give up on him

You had your time, you must admit its gone

Unwilling to let it go, it felt so good to

fall asleep in his arms and know you were safe



Anguish



Loosing sleep at night as you think about his rest

Unfair, unjust maybe, its true

Yet you love the fact that he sleeps soundlessly

At least you hope beyond hope that he does



You mouth is dry, your throat is choking

you're suffocating at the thought that you are unwanted

unloved

unseen

unheard

by the one person you care most for



Agony becomes more than a word



Drowning takes on new meaning



At times you want to float away

let the pain engulf your every aspect

please just not one more moment of this yearning

anything to stop the tears



your mind is blank when you realise that even if he sees this, even if he knows how much feeling you hold in your heart, how much he is loved for all that he is...



...He wouldn't care