The wonderings of Me, SpaggyB

yeah... so i just wrote out a long blog about my feelings lol XDX decided not to post it... coz im cowardly like that XD

soooo instead im gonna talk about my new clothes =P

basically they arent new XD my sis just chucked a fuckload of clothes on my floor and said "here to go" which is good enough for me XD

cooooooz amongst the pile were these EPIC GREEN SHORT SHORTS!!! MY WORD I LOOOOOOVE THEM!!! im gonna wear the green out of them =P only i need suspenders XD XD anyone know where i can get a pair?!?!?! =D =D dude they are epic!

in other news i feel like being a plane today =) aaaand im over tired cozi stayed on the phone for almost 6 ours last night/this morning... =D fun fun...

aaaaand i wish it was wednesday.... I WANT WEDNESDAY!!!! *hmph*

also im a kitty =) apparently... according to my brain XD XD

ooooh no XD im getting emotional XD im going to go before i post something ill regret XD XD even thought thats impossible considering i dont regret things XD XD but even so... it might make me feel bad lol!!!!

im off =)

WAIT!!!

one last thing...

I LOVE JADE PUGET TOM STURRIDGE AND PARKWAY DRIVE!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

first blog in a while... i finally have something to blog about...



A lot can happen in a short time... things can change... things can grow... things can die and things can even out to what they should have been all along. Other things are inevitable. Horrible, painful, unavoidable truths that are yet to come.



The most painful thing is knowing that it cant happen. Not even for the short time we have. There is little i wouldnt give, even just for those few months... I cant think of anything else. I only see the memories.

It hurts... no one has ever looked at me the way he did... it was so different to anything ive ever experienced... maybe i just havent experienced enough... maybe im right... maybe... maybe there's too many maybes in this situation, too many speculations, too many wonderings. Too many hopes, too many thoughts...



One thing i know for sure is im insanely selfish.

Im sorry...

Okay well... i havent blogged for a while... dunno why.. so im gonna try now =)
and most probably fail dismally.

yeah, i fail XD
the only thin i can think of to write is this:

Life sucks. Emotions suck, feelings suck. Aaaaand im feeling much MUCH stronger than i thought i would be... aaaand its taking its toll... buuut theres nothing i can do. i tried and failed.
I fail a lot more than i let on.

irresistible.