The wonderings of Me, SpaggyB

Okay, well ive calmed down somewhat...
People who read my blogs, if there is anyone, expect them to become a lot less frequent and a lot less specific. Lately ive been blogging about whatever it was that Reuben and I had, and if you hadnt figured that out yet well then, there you go.
Ha, at first i thought it was hilarious how we used our blogs as a medium to communicate... although we also said pretty much the same stuff straight up to each other. Either way im not blogging about him anymore. Ever. No matter what happens, even though i know exactly what that is.
Anyway long story short, whatever it was that we had obviously isnt good enough for him so fuck it. If he wants to spend his life trying to keep something that died a long time ago alive, he can go right ahead. Im not gonna beg or plead, and when it all goes pear shaped again, im not gonna be here. I refuse to get myself back into that hopeless situation. Sure, after a while if he wants to try and be friends, fine. But thats it.
Actually, the rest of this blog is just gonna be me ranting about what a fuckhead he is. Or at least, how much of a fuckhead he is being.
I dont understand where i went wrong.
I stole a webcam for him, I bought a new phone so he could call me, I ditched my mates so i could hang out with him (something that never happened btw) i lost sleep worrying about him, i lost sleep thinking about him, i got into fights with my mates over him... i fucking love him. I really do, i love him. But then, he doesnt want that. No he wants the ex. He's always wanted the fucking ex.
Fuck i feel like such an IDIOT. Mainly because i believed him when he said he loved me. I believed him when he blogged "But on a serious note, me and holly wont ever have anything happen again"
Nah, i can see that (Y)
AND THEN he says "im sorry for leading you on..."
YEAH IM SURE YOU FUCKING ARE.
"either way its really not much fun for the person its happening too somtimes you cant change whats happening and i understand when that happens… but im sorry but this time they knew perfectly well as well… i guess sometimes the words “i love you” dont actually have meaning…."
Amen Reuben.
Thats it people. Thats as much as im gonna write about him from now on.
Fuck him.