The wonderings of Me, SpaggyB

People tell me I'm a walking oxymoron. Ive given up trying to argue that point.
Take for example, my outlook on sense. Common sense, things that don't make sense, things that do make sense. I like things that make sense. Making sense is secure, safe. Its just as it should be basically. Things that don't make sense i find interesting. Why don't they make sense? What makes them not make sense? How would it be if they did make sense? Interesting thought patterns come from that which doesn't make sense.
I don't make sense.
I always contradict myself, my opinions cancel each other out, my phrases, while they may suit the situation, don't seem to make any sense at all until i explain them to whoever sticks around long enough to listen. Take for example my outlook on commitment...
I don't see relationships at this age commitments (or at any age really considering today's relationship stats) because i see a commitment as something you cant walk away from. The stats i was talking about say otherwise when it comes to relationships of any age or type. People leave each other all the time, and while it hurts like hell, it happens. A true commitment you cant just walk away from. BUT at the same time as I'm thinking this, I'm worrying myself crazy over the fact that the person I'm falling (very fast) for, who has told me he loves me, is hesitant when it actually comes to being together officially. I cant help but think that because we aren't actually together, the risk of losing him is massively increased, despite me knowing its not much more than a name. I know, I know, its stupid, and it doesn't make sense and its things like this that don't make sense that i don't like.
(Are you seeing my point about me being a walking contradiction as well as not making any sense yet?)
I'm driving myself insane. There are other things i think about in this fashion, politics, war, all the "important" things. Sometimes i cant stand being in my own head, and there's very little i wouldn't do just to be free of my own thoughts for a while. To have peace and quiet. A break from the arguments i have with myself.
Hmmm... i guess I'm not very good at staying on topic either.
The point is, i contradict my own opinions, i don't make sense to myself so how can i make sense to others, and i cant stand being inside my own head at times. Like right now. Can someone please just tell me how to stop this?
I'm sick of being so tired.